


Tell Me What You Want

by dreamsintechnicolor



Series: Certified Emotional Support Boy [2]
Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Emotional Support Boy Yeonjun, Getting Together, Kang Taehyun Holds TXT's Only Braincell, M/M, Napping, Sleepy Boys, Stressed Choi Soobin, Yeonjun is questionable at feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:13:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27490258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamsintechnicolor/pseuds/dreamsintechnicolor
Summary: Yeonjun thought becoming Soobin's Emotional Support Boy™ would be a lot of cuddling and hand holding, and he wasn't wrong. He didn't think he would catch feelings either though, and that's where things got a little off track.***Thanks so much to a couple of commenters for pointing out that I had this tagged with the Major Character Death warning! I promise no one dies in this series!
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Series: Certified Emotional Support Boy [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2008900
Comments: 7
Kudos: 142





	Tell Me What You Want

**Author's Note:**

> This is a cute little continuation of Tell Me What You Need, with a little less angst and a little more fluff. The soft start of Yeonbin's romantic relationship in this universe. Again, I'm totally open to adding some slice of life one shots to this universe when the inspiration strikes me, just as a little view into Yeonbin's life together (and maybe the other boys as well).

Going to Yeonjun for comfort was a lot easier than Soobin thought it would be. The first time was the hardest, but after that it was all too easy. They were already close, and it was nothing to drift just a little closer, to scoot over and tuck himself close, to reach out and let his hand be held. They got a few looks from managers and producers when they got a little too touchy on camera but for the most part Soobin allowed himself the small comforts Yeonjun was offering.

Gentle head pets and subtle hand holding kept the edge off and Soobin wouldn’t trade them for the world, but he knew there was something missing. There had been something so freeing about the night in the bathroom and he had slept like the dead tucked up against Yeonjun afterwards. He wanted that again—but how could he? He had broken under the pressure of their debut the first time and he had terrified their younger bandmates. He was still tense but not anywhere close enough to a breakdown that he was going to burst into tears and lock himself in the bathroom again so a full body cuddle session with Yeonjun seemed impossible. Even if seeing Soobin vulnerable wouldn’t scare them, seeing their leader curled up like a baby in Yeonjun’s arms would give them enough teasing fodder to last them easily until the next comeback. 

So no, a full-blown cathartic cuddle session was off the table, at least while all five of them were sharing a room.

2020 changed everything.

Their new dorm didn’t just separate them into multiple rooms, it put Yeonjun in a room by himself.

“Hyung?” Soobin called softly, knocking on the door with one knuckle. 

“Come on in,” Yeonjun called back. Soobin nudged the door open and slipped inside. “Hey Binnie, what’s up?” he asked as he dropped his phone into the sheets. 

Soobin was admittedly nervous; approaching Yeonjun for casual comfort had become easy but this would be the first time Soobin actually came into Yeonjun’s new room without at least one of the others tagging along. Today Beomgyu and Taehyun were at the company building for vocal lessons and Kai had gone as well for his Korean lesson with his tutor, so Soobin and Yeonjun had the dorm to themselves for the afternoon. Something about the situation felt forbidden, like asking for comfort in this private sphere was somehow not allowed. Swallowing that feeling, Soobin wandered closer to the bed and sat when Yeonjun pulled his feet up and gestured at the empty space.

“I was wondering if you wanted to watch a movie,” Soobin finally managed to say. It wasn’t exactly what he was going for but at least it would get him cuddles.

“Sure,” the older boy agreed easily. 

It almost felt too easy, but once Soobin had settled himself in next to Yeonjun he realized his dilemma: watching a movie pressed against Yeonjun’s side was nothing compared to being held by him. He spent the opening credits and the first few scenes leaning heavily against Yeonjun, trying to think of a way to squeeze under his arm and tuck himself closer but he wasn’t sure how to do it without coming across as clingy. Yeonjun was happy to (almost) kiss Soobin for the camera and he hadn’t complained about being his emotional support cuddle buddy yet but a small part of Soobin feared what would happen if Yeonjun decided Soobin was taking more than he was willing to give.

“Bin, quit moving,” Yeonjun grumbled eventually. Soobin went dead still instantly, piquing the other’s interest. Soobin tried to pretend not to notice as Yeonjun eyed him suspiciously and it worked. After a moment, Yeonjun huffed a little frustrated breath and relaxed again, this time slouching down and sneaking an arm between Soobin’s lower back and the wall. He curled that hand around Soobin’s hip to tug him into a better position so that he could see the laptop propped in his lap a little better and then went still again.

When Soobin started squirming again, he clamped the hand down harder and took a deep breath.

“Soobin,” he said slowly, “what’s wrong? I can’t focus on the movie with you wiggling around.”

Soobin mumbled something Yeonjun couldn’t quite catch, even with their heads so close together. 

“What?”

“I want to cuddle,” Soobin repeated. 

Ah, that made sense.

Yeonjun carefully set the laptop aside, turning off the film and closing it, and then slid all the way down to lay on his side. Just like that night so many months ago, Soobin hurried to snuggle down, pressing his back against Yeonjun’s chest. Yeonjun sighed, settling in with a hand on Soobin’s chest and the other hooked under his head and around his shoulder. He tucked his feet up behind Soobin’s calves and took a deep breath, taking in the soft smell of the shampoo they all shared and Soobin’s fancy moisturizer.

“You know, you didn’t need to make me watch half a movie,” Yeonjun mumbled. “You could have just asked to cuddle.”

“We haven’t cuddled like this since the first time,” Soobin explained, “I didn’t want it to get weird. Especially since you have your own space and everything now. I didn’t want to intrude.”

Yeonjun tightened his hold on the other boy until he started to groan and wriggle in discomfort.

“I told you to come to me when you need me,” he reminded him. 

They went quiet after that. Yeonjun thought about finding his phone in the sheets and checking the comments on their social media but chose to stay in the moment instead. He buried his nose in Soobin’s hair and let his mind wander, drifting from yesterday’s dance practice to tomorrow’s rap lesson to the next comeback and then in a whole mess of directions even Yeonjun himself couldn’t easily follow. He dozed on and off, comfortable and content, until he felt Soobin start to shift. He loosened his arms so the leader could move and huffed a surprised breath when the other settled again. He had been expecting Soobin to get up to use the bathroom or tell him thank you, but he’d had enough cuddling for now.

Instead, Soobin rolled over and tucked his nose into Yeonjun’s chest, very much asleep.

Yeonjun’s heart gave a few hard thumps. He had spooned Soobin before, he knew how to do that, but this? This felt more intimate than anything he’d ever experienced. With Soobin’s legs stacked and tangled with his own, his nose tucked against his chest, and his arms still wrapped tightly around the other boy, Yeonjun felt a warm feeling bloom in his chest. Soobin slept a lot, that was no secret, but that was only because he was usually so tired that he collapsed and slept until he had no choice but to get up. On days where he got to sleep late into the morning, Soobin rarely took naps and if he slept late enough, he often had trouble getting to sleep when it was actually time for bed. Knowing that his leader was comfortable enough pressed into Yeonjun’s embrace to fall asleep when he wasn’t exhausted sent a sensation through him that he wasn’t sure how to identify.

It was softer than a thrill but not as soft as tenderness. There was pride mixed in there somewhere, as well as fondness. With a minute shake of his head, Yeonjun put the sensation out of his mind and focused once more on enjoying his cuddles with Soobin. He radiated heat like a furnace, making Yeonjun wish he’d chosen a regular shirt instead of the soft hoodie he had picked out for his lazy day at home, so he kicked the blanket down around their feet. Settling in for a nap had never come so easily to either of them.

It was Soobin who woke from their nap first. He was feeling much lighter than normal, like he could float away if not for the heavy arm tucked snugly around his ribs. He wasn’t sure how long they’d slept, but it must have been at least a few hours judging by the lack of light shining through the blinds. He could hear the other boys banging around in the kitchen though, not bothering to be quiet for their sleeping hyungs, so it probably wasn’t too late into the night and they probably hadn’t bothered to check the bedrooms to see what they were up to. Kai singing loudly of tune to their new song roused Yeonjun, but not enough to wake him. The older boy just tightened his arm around Soobin and made a low noise of contentment before nuzzling his nose down into Soobin’s hair. 

“Binnie,” he mumbled, hitching the leader closer and causing his cheeks to heat up with a furious blush. Soobin let Yeonjun move him, aligning their bodies so that the two of them were pressed together from knees to nose (well, Soobin’s nose to Yeonjun’s chest and Yeonjun’s nose in Soobin’s hair). He was practically suffocating with the heat building up from his breath in the small space he was afforded, but there was something so comfortable about it that he let himself stay, frozen in a weird sort of limbo where Yeonjun wasn’t just offering comfort but was actively seeking him out.

They got a few more minutes in their little bubble before Kai’s off-key singing devolved into screeching. Soobin could make out something about shrimp and lying, cheating bastards and that’s when he decided it was probably time for the leader to step in. 

“Yeonjun hyung,” he said gently, “you need to let me up so I can go save the maknaes from each other.”

“They can have you later,” Yeonjun grumbled. “I want to keep you for a little while longer.”

“Hyung, I give it three minutes before Taehyun has Kai in a chokehold—”

“That’s mine, give it back!”

“A minute and a half,” he corrected with a wince. “You need to let me go deal with that.”

With a severely unhappy rumbly sound Soobin wasn’t aware Yeonjun could even make, the older boy rolled out of bed and stalked out of the room. Concerned, Soobin followed him to the kitchen.

“Yah!” the eldest shouted over the commotion. 

All three maknaes froze, each caught in their own incriminating positions. Kai was holding Taehyun’s phone as far from its owner as he could get it. Taehyun was grabbing at it with one hand, the other wrapped securely around Kai’s throat like he was ready to squeeze at the slightest provocation. Beomgyu was leaning against the counter, snacking on honey butter chips and filming the entire scene. All of them went deathly still other than to turn their heads with matching expressions of horror to look at their obviously unhappy hyung.

“What the hell is this?” Yeonjun scowled. “You come in screaming, wake us both up, attack each other, and you’re filming it? What are you going to do if that leaks? We would all come under fire for letting our maknaes literally choke each other over chips, do you want that?”

“No, Yeonjun hyung,” the three of them mumbled, already looking cowed. Beomgyu handed over his phone to let Yeonjun delete the video and then offered his bag of chips to the eldest in an attempt to curry favor. It seemed to work a little bit, but it only applied to Beomgyu and it only lasted for a moment.

“What are you even fighting over?” he asked.

“Taehyun said he would buy me shrimp chips when he went in the convenience store with Gyu but he just brought back honey butter and sweet potato,” Kai whined. 

“Seriously?” Yeonjun sighed, rubbing at the bridge of his nose in they way that told Soobin he was just keeping his hands busy to keep them from strangling the maknaes himself. He stormed towards Kai and just as Soobin started to fear he’d really lost his patience this time, he reached past the gangly boy into the cabinet and dropped a packet of shrimp chips onto the counter. “There,” he snapped, “shrimp chips. Now give him his phone back so we can go back to our nap. Keep it down—you know Soobin doesn’t get enough sleep when we don’t have days off, so you need to let him sleep when we do.”

The three mumbled out various assurances that they would be quiet and Yeonjun ignored them in favor of grabbing Soobin by the wrist and towing him back to his bed and into the same position they had been in before. Yeonjun seemed to settle in easily, like they’d never been interrupted, but there was something restless in Soobin now. He knew Yeonjun liked to cuddle—the eldest member was notorious for initiating as much skinship as possible—but he hadn’t expected Yeonjun to fight so hard to get back to their joint naptime. What was going on? Why did Yeonjun get so angry at the maknaes? Was he still mad now?

The questions swirled in Soobin’s mind and he found himself unable to sleep again, growing anxious even as he tried to time his breaths with Yeonjun’s. Just as he thought the eldest was in a deep enough sleep for him to slip out of the bed, he spoke.

“What’s wrong, Binnie?”

Soobin jolted in Yeonjun’s arms. How could he tell?

“Just thinking about some stuff, don’t worry about it,” he said easily and Yeonjun frowned. Yeonjun knew Soobin had some kind of weird hang up about actually asking for comfort so he kept his eyes locked on the other’s and tilted his head forward until they were close enough both of them were nearly cross eyed. He held that position for a moment, letting Soobin squirm, before relaxing without pushing the issue. Soobin would come to him when he was ready.

There was a definite change in their dynamic after that day. It seemed like a barrier had been broken; Soobin was no longer hesitant in hijacking Yeonjun’s bed for cuddles and would slip his hand into Yeonjun’s instead of knocking their knuckles together and waiting for Yeonjun to make the first move. He was glad that Soobin was getting more comfortable, but the sudden closeness was having an effect on Yeonjun that he hadn’t predicted.

He hadn’t expected to like it so much.

Soobin was soft and a little squishy, unlike Yeonjun’s own toned body, and he was so, so warm. He smelled like their pomegranate shampoo and his fancy peach scented skincare and body wash set. His skin was so smooth and creamy pale that it glowed in the soft light of Yeonjun’s lamp. He was stretchy. He was ticklish. He was cuddly.

And Yeonjun loved it. 

He couldn’t give Soobin his little comforts in public without hoping the makeup would hide his blush or cuddle up to him in bed without having to take deep breaths to regulate his pounding heart. Things had changed for Yeonjun and he was self-aware enough to know that he was falling in love with his best friend. He knew that he had two options: he could distance himself and hope the feelings would fade in time or he could keep doing what he was doing and ignore it with all his might. It only took a day to disregard the first option. He knocked Soobin’s hand away during an interview and the leader had looked close to tears until Yeonjun had leaned in and taken his ear between two fingers, rubbing it and tugging gently until he calmed down. Cutting off their baby leader’s source of comfort would be cruel and while Yeonjun was a lot of things, cruel wasn’t one of them.

Instead he spent his free time searching ways to regulate his heart rate and keep himself from blushing. He didn’t find much on how to ignore feelings, so he focused on hiding the signs, but that somehow managed to backfire as well.

“Hyung, why are you holding your breath?” Soobin mumbled into his chest. Yeonjun’s carefully maintained breathing pattern flew out the window as all the air rushed out of his body in surprise. They had gotten in from the studio late, found the maknaes all passed out, and climbed into Yeonjun’s bed to decompress and all had been silent for several minutes before Soobin spoke up. 

“My trainer told me to work on regulating my heart rate,” he lied, “I’m trying out breathing exercises.”

“You’re lying,” Soobin whispered, but he was already drifting off to sleep. Yeonjun doubted he would even remember their interaction in the morning. Still, Soobin kept talking in his tiny, sleepy voice. “It’s okay though, I know you’ll tell me if it’s important. Love you.”

And then he was asleep and Yeonjun suddenly felt more awake than he’d ever felt in his life.

He agonized over it for days. Sure, Soobin had told him he loved him before. He’d said it on broadcasts, he’d said it on stage, he’d said it on national television. He’d said it in the dorm and he’d said it in restaurants. Soobin had told Yeonjun he loved him anywhere and everywhere, when he wanted things or when he appreciated things or when Yeonjun spoiled him with affection, but something about that sleepy little admission felt poignant. They had been alone, without the others there to coo over Soobin and laugh at Yeonjun, and Soobin was asking for anything or thanking him. He had simply told Yeonjun, plain and simple, that he loved him. 

The bit before the love you haunted him as well, though. 

“I know you’ll tell me if it’s important.”

Yeonjun knew it was just his guilty conscience, but it felt like a call out. Soobin didn’t know how Yeonjun felt. He was a good leader, and he was a great friend, but he was dense sometimes and Yeonjun knew that if Soobin had figured it out their dynamic would have changed even more. Still, he couldn’t get it out of his head and the more he thought on it the worse he felt. Suddenly it was guilt he was fighting when he held Soobin, not attraction. He couldn’t tug on Soobin’s ears or stroke the soft spot under his chin or thread his fingers through his hair without feeling like a fraud.

“Yeonjun hyung,” Taehyun said one day, catching him by surprise in the kitchen. All the others were still sleeping, but it seemed like Taehyun had decided to get up early like Yeonjun, probably to hit the gym. 

“Yeah?” he grunted, already hovering near the coffee pot.

“Did something happen with Soobin hyung?” he asked. Yeonjun nearly dropped a mug he was pulling from the cabinet and Taehyun’s eyebrows shot towards his hairline. No hiding it now.

“What do you mean?” he hedged, hoping to put it off.

“You look like you’re going to be sick when you touch him,” the younger pointed out bluntly. “But you’re still being all touchy like normal, so I don’t think you fought…”

“We didn’t fight, Hyunnie, don’t worry about us.”

“Are you in love with Soobin?”

Yeonjun choked.

“Ah,” Taehyun nodded wisely, “thought so. Beomgyu thought you were fighting, and Kai said I was delusional, but I knew something was up. Have you told him yet?”

“I wasn’t planning on it,” Yeonjun admitted. Taehyun’s eyes went stormy and Yeonjun found himself leaning away subconsciously, as if waiting to be struck. Knowing Taehyun, it wasn’t implausible.

“Is that why you look like you’re going to be sick when you touch him? Because you think he doesn’t like you back that way, and he wouldn’t want you touching him if he knew?” Taehyun demanded. 

“No, I just feel like I’m lying to him,” Yeonjun frowned, but suddenly he realized the problem ran deeper. Was he violating Soobin by touching him when he was hiding this? Yeonjun turned toward the sink, feeling like he might throw up even though he hadn’t eaten yet. 

“You should talk to him, hyung. He deserves to know the truth.”

Yeonjun spent about three days with Taehyun’s words rattling around in his head before Soobin lost his patience. 

“You’ve been avoiding me,” the leader said simply, cornering Yeonjun in his room while the others were out. They were confined to the dorm for the most part, only allowed to go straight to their recording and dance studios at the company building because of the quarantine, and the others were getting so antsy that they were spending more and more time bouncing around the dance studio to try and alleviate the boredom. That left Yeonjun to stay home with their resident homebody to keep him from getting trapped in his own thoughts.

“How can I avoid you, Soobinnie?” he tried. “I stay with you all the time, remember? We can’t leave.”

The leader narrowed his eyes and took another step towards where Yeonjun was curled up in his bed.

“You kicked me out of our bed to play a stupid game on your phone last night! Because I was, and I quote: breathing on your neck and making you lose!” Soobin shrilled and Yeonjun flinched before his brain shorted out. 

Our bed? Certain he had completely hallucinated the first sentence, Yeonjun just stared at Soobin, baffled.

“Don’t you have anything to say?” Soobin scowled. 

“Our bed,” was all Yeonjun managed to get out around all the words fighting to get out at once. Soobin went pink to the tips of his ears and looked down.

“I mean… I’ve been sleeping in it at least every other night for months now,” he mumbled, suddenly looking shy and a little uncomfortable. “Sorry, this was stupid. I’ll leave you alone.”

“Soobin!”

Surprised at the volume of Yeonjun’s outburst, Soobin froze in the doorway.

“It’s not stupid, I’m sorry I made you feel like I didn’t want you here. Come cuddle, okay?” Yeonjun invited. He lifted one corner of the blanket even though he knew Soobin would overheat and end up kicking the whole thing down to the foot of the bed. Slowly, as if he thought it was some kind of joke, Soobin climbed into the bed. He left a little bit of space between them, sending a shiver of worry through Yeonjun.

“You’re not mad at me?” he murmured without making eye contact.

“No, Binnie,” he promised. “I’m not mad, I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I promise I won’t kick you out again and I’ll make it up to you. Just tell me what you want and I’ll make it happen.”

“Just want you,” the leader announced softly. 

As soon as Yeonjun opened his arms, Soobin slid into them like he was coming home. He tucked his nose into Yeonjun’s neck, slotted their legs together, and wrapped his arms tightly around Yeonjun’s waist. Yeonjun let himself have the moment, knowing that things might change with his next admission.

“Love you, Binnie,” he said softly, and pressed his lips against Soobin’s forehead to make his meaning clear. There was a few seconds of silence and a little shift and suddenly instead of Soobin’s nose pressed against his collarbone, it was his lips. It was a change, but maybe not as much of one as Yeonjun had feared. He nuzzled his nose down into Soobin’s hair and settled in for their nap, just like always.


End file.
